Relationships: what society says about them, what the bible says, and what you should know.

I asked a friend what she wanted my first post to be about and she said relationships, so here it goes.  I believe that relationships are something that can be absolutely wonderful and life changing in a very good way, if there the right kind of relationship.  But I also feel that relationships with the wrong people can go very badly and change your whole life for the worse without you even being aware of it.  I feel that society makes relationships out to be something that everyone has to have in order to live a happy life, you look on the covers of magazines and you see these happy couples just getting engaged or whatever the topic might be, but they always look happy.  And in my personal opinion, out of experience is that until you are in a healthy relationship that God intends for you to be in, I feel that the person won’t ever be completely happy.  And what I mean by that is when you just feel that you can date and become close to anyone you lay your eye on, and then you begin to give your heart to that person and then you begin to realize that there are some things about that person that you don’t particularly like, or agree with, but you say "you know what?  They love me and I love them so it’s not that big of a problem."  And so you hold your tongue and you sweep it under the rug and you try and act like whatever the problem is, its not there anymore.  Until that problem has gotten so out of hand that you might not even see it anymore, and that’s where the scary part I believe comes in, because when you are too deep into a situation that you cannot even see with your own eyes the destruction that it is doing do your life, the other persons life, and the relationship, its already almost too far for you to even get out.  Because when a person is so unaware of the issues that are right in front of them when they have friends and family telling them the issues that they are seeing, that person can’t see it and with that, can’t fix the problem.  So with all that, I feel that if God hasn’t brought that one person into your life that changes everything for the better, stay single, work on yourself, I believe that you must be the best version of yourself in order to love someone else in a healthy way.  Because if you're just looking for anyone that’s looking for trouble, but also I believe that you’re looking for trouble when you don’t know what you deserve and haven’t promised yourself that you will NOT stop until you find that person who treats you exactly the way that you deserve and even better.  And so when you are the best you that you could possibly be, then when God does bring that right relationship in, its not about changing each other because you both have problems that need to be worked on; like past relationships, drug addictions, and so on.  And so when you begin to stop looking for someone else to make you happy and you look to yourself and you come to the realization with God that until he brings someone in, you will work on being the best you possible.  I can say from experience that realizing that with God wasn’t an easy point to get to, but once I had realized that me looking on my own for someone that was good for me hadn’t worked out so well so far, that God knew better and I had to let him take the lead, which no doubt is incredibly difficult.  I am a person that feels that I must always be in complete control of everything in my life because of past experiences, that if I don’t have complete control over everything then I become uneasy.  So getting to the point with God to giving him all of me and telling him that this is all I have, do your way with me, cleanse me and make me new again so that I can be the best me possible, was hard.  I remember driving home from church one day (went to church alone btw) and stopping at a red light and thinking to myself. "I really wish that I had someone that wanted to go to church with me and someone that just loved me as much as he could; someone that has such a strong relationship with God that it strengthens my own.  That I just want to be with someone who is good for me and makes me a better person."  At that time I was involved with a guy who was opposite of a guy I had ever thought of being with.  He didn’t put me first, he cared about me when it was convenient, and he never went to church with me.  Now that was only a few of the problems that this guy and I had.  But having someone to go to church with was something that was very important to me, I want someone that I can talk to with about God and have us bond over things like that, and this guy could have cared less if he went or not, and that was something that really had an affect on our relationship, not just because he didn’t go to church with me but just the whole issue about it.  I gave and gave and gave, that never seemed to be enough. I would have gone to the moon and back if it meant that it would have made him happy.  But I had to get to the point mentally, not by with anyone else, or the advice of a family member, but all on my own I had to realize that I deserved better and that this guy wasn’t the best that God could do, and when I did that I tell you my life turned around.  I felt as if a million pounds had just been lifted off of my shoulders and that I was coming out of this dark tunnel.  I knew from that day forward I was going to work on my relationship with God and I was going to work on myself.  So what I did and what I recommend to anyone that hasn’t met someone yet, or you are with someone but you aren’t sure that they are the best out there.  Make a list, doesn’t matter how fancy or how long, but make a list with everything that you would want in your future life partner, I don’t mean six pack abs, super nice truck, and thick blonde hair with dreamy blue eyes.  I mean you can add that but it’ll be a little harder to find, write what you find important in a life partner, someone that goes to church with you, someone that loves God with everything he can, someone that treats you like a princess, and someone that wants to always be around you.  This can be for guys to don’t get me wrong; it’s just more likely for girls to do this than guys.  And what I believe that list will do it will help you to know what to look for and how to know that you’ve found someone that’s worth your effort to get to know.  I know that God hears every prayer that you ever pray and that whatever is important to you is important to him, but also that he loves you more than you will ever know so why wouldn’t he go to the moon and back if that would make you happy since he created them?  I know that God intends for people to be happy, everyone to be.  But I don’t exactly think that with that means to be in a relationship, I think that some people have more to be than just being with someone, or whatever the case may be, I just don’t think that everyone is meant to be in relationships.  I also know how hard that relationships can be, there things that take over more than just your heart, and that the wrong ones can really hurt your life in more ways than they should.  I can say from experience that if you just wait for Gods best for your life, and you continue to pray and to grow in your relationship with him that when that right person comes along it means so much more than if they just came in a bag and all you had to do was add water.